Life Is Red
by My God Can Beat Up Your God
Summary: ...Or something to that effect. Blah, blah, blah. A conversation between Selphie, Rinoa, Quistis, and Ellone. In the cafeteria. With tea. And pink. And broken glass. Mmmm. Oneshot.


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**Disclaimer: **... _:silence:_

Oh. Erm, I'm poor.

Which obviously means I'm not Squaresoft.

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Author's Note: Umm... This is a one-shot, obviously. There is no real plot... It's just a random conversation I had in my head, so I inserted it into the mouths of Rinoa, Quisty, Seifie, and Ellone. I luuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurve proverbs. This actually isn't about a proverb though... I just read a Seiftis, can you guess which one? Actually, I just read seven... It's amazing what the summer can do to someone... It's certainly affecting my _mental_ health...

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It was a bright, wonderfully sunny day outside. Flowers bloomed healthily, spreading their sweet aroma throughout the Training Grounds (Well, at least they _did - _before they were smashed mercilessly by a T-Rex, who got kicks out of killing off innocent life forms, particularly anything pink).

Anyhow, completely ignoring the beautiful weather outside, four women were sitting happily at a run down table in Balamb Garden's cafeteria, gossiping about meaningless things such as bumble bees and Zell's hair styling products. (I say women, although they are clearly _girls_, for my own well being, just in case one of them happens to run into this.)

One of the chairs was occupied by Quistis, who was sitting up straight and sipping at her tea, trying very hard to look dignified. To her right was the overly-dramatic yet air-headed Rinoa, followed by the hyper Selphie and enigmatic Ellone. ...Did I just call her enigmatic? Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha, HA! (:laughter ends in a fit of coughing, and me pounding my own back: I think I coughed up a hair ball.)

"Whatcha reading, Rinny?" Selphie peeked over Rinoa's shoulder, successfully ending the author's tirade of insul- erm, comments.

"A book of _proverbs_," Rinoa sniffed, sticking her nose up in the air.

"..If life is a red dress.." Selphie blinked before Rinoa snatched up the book and shut it hastily on the table.

("She read what, half a sentence? And she didn't even get _that_ right..." Rinoa whispered to Ellone, causing her to ... Erm, blink.)

After a moment of in-depth thinking, Selphie muttered, "Life is a red dress... Hmmm..."

The rest of the table remained silent.

"It's a real pity, 'cause I don't really like _red_ dresses..."

"No, no! You've got the proverb all wrong," Quistis sighed, pushing her glasses up her nose, causing them to fall off. (It was then she noticed that she didn't even need glasses... Oh well.)

"Hey Quisty, I don't think it's a proverb at all..." Rinoa was about to show her how the book was kind of strange looking... In fancy letters she read, "Final Fantasy Eight Fan Fiction Listings,". Over the words was a hastily scribbled red line, and underneath that the word 'Proverbs' in red ink had been written. So naturally she had assumed that that was the title.

"Don't be silly. Of _course_ it's a proverb." Quistis said knowingly.

"Didn't it say "Love is a Red Dress?" Elle coughed.

"No, you've still got it wrong!" Quistis's hands flew up, angry for no apparent reason. Well, no _important_ reason that anyone else in the world could possibly care about, save Quistis.

After a moment of silence, Selphie added, "I think love would be more of a pink color."

Ellone made a face, gagging. "I _hate_ pink,"

Quistis looked down at her pink dress, then looked back at Ellone and glared at her. ". . ."

"Oh! Oh! How about _black!" _Selphie squealed.

"Black would work.

"Nuh-uh! Blue!" Rinoa pouted. (What were they talking about?)

"Really, though, I think pink suits love perfectly," Quistis sighed wistfully, petting the soft pink fabric of her outfit.

"Hey, hey, HEY! I think I've got it!" Selphie jumped on her chair, causing most of the non-oblivious SeeDs to stare at her strangely.

"Okay, so listen up, this gets real complicated."

Everyone else at the table blinked.

Kay. So let's say you're going to a party..."

"Alright," Quistis said.

"Now, if you're eating something, what color stains the easiest?"

"Umm..." Elle muttered.

"Oh! I know purple!" Rinoa shrieked.

Ellone brightened up. "Yeah! Purple!"

"Erm... Besides purple."

There was silence.

"Red?" Quistis chipped in.

"BINGO!" Selphie jumped on her chair, visibly flinching when a loud _CRACK_ echoed throughout the cafeteria. She ignored it.

"Okay, so now let's say that you're drinking _wine_ at this party."

"M'kay," Rinoa yawned.

"Now, what color is wine _usually?"_

White!"

"No! _Besides_ that, Rinny!"

"...Purple?" Rin blinked.

"Argh!"

"Oh, it's red! See? Red dress, red life, red wine..." Elle looked very pleased with herself.

"Booyaka! Okay, now let's say that someone spills red wine _all_ over your dress of life-"

"They ruined my dress?" Rinoa looked heartbroken.

"Yes!"

"How expensive was it?"

"...Erm."

"I bet some jealous bitch spilled it on my dress! On purpose!" Rin slammed her hand on the table, spilling two of the four glasses.

"Love?" Elle glanced at Rinoa.

"Yes!"

"OKAY! Fin. So the nasty pink color of love spilled _red_ wine all over your _red_ dress..."

"Red on red?" Quistis stared at Selphie.

"Yup! See? So it wouldn't stain! And that is what the proverb 'Life is a red dress' means."

"Selphie, that's not the prover-"

"_Silence!"_ Selphie cut off Quistis, slamming down her foot and knocking over the remaining two cups of tea.

"...Wait." Rin had a curious expression on her face.

"What if the wine was a _different_ shade of red?"

Ellone caught on. "Yeah, what _if?"_

Selphie thought for a moment. "Uhmm... Well, I guess then, you're life just... sucks."

"Ohhhhh."

_(Elle and Rin were truly enlightened.)_

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It's-a-boat, it's-a-boat, it's-a-boat, boat, boat, It's-a-boat, it's-a-boat, it's-a-boat, boat, boat, It's-a-boat, it's-a-boat, it's-a-boat, boat, boat, _BOAT! BOAT, BOAT, BOAT!  
_**:sings along to horse racing music:**

Review if the fancy takes you. I'm used to people not reviewing, so it's no biggy. Flames are funny. Reviews are heart-warming. And critiques are semi-interesting. Anyway.


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